


Some Have to Be Pushed

by CapBubba



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-10-17
Updated: 2011-11-29
Packaged: 2017-10-24 17:02:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapBubba/pseuds/CapBubba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Dave are brothers in a new town, having to deal with building new relationships and growing into adults. Some of them are rushing into it, and others have to be pushed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lunch on Sunday

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work Im posting and I would love to get some feedback. Ill go for a while and see where it leads me, but for now I have no specific direction. If you have any suggestions or ideas, don't be afraid to share them with me. It will go on for a while but I do hope that some people will find some enjoyment out of my (most likely mediocre) story.

==> Start the story.

 _  
I was going to do that anyways. You don’t need to be so pushy.   
_

==> Be the Main Character.

 _  
Well there are two main characters. Each one is important in their own fashion.   
_

==> Be the MAIN Main Character.

 _  
Did you not read what I just said? How about this: I’ll choose one, and we can continue from there. Because at this rate, we’re moving nowhere fast.   
_

==> Whatever.

You are now John Egbert, and you are trying to prevent these two girls on either side of you to resort to physical violence.

You and your family moved to this city only a week before, and you quickly made friends with quite a few people from the neighborhood. However, the group you prefer to be with is the trio Rose Lalonde, Vriska Serket, and Kanaya Marym. The three girls are some of the most intriguing people on your street, and each one has a strong personality.

Vriska and Rose are often at each other’s throats, only united by Kanaya, who often in is the position you are in now. However, Kanaya is indisposed, and you really don’t want to see either of the two to start throwing punches simply over their favorite soft drink flavor.

 _Oh god where is Kanaya?_

You stand between the two preventing each other from moving at each other, your hands keeping them separate by arm’s length with you pushing against their collar bones. They both lean in and threaten to crush you as they try to get at the person on the opposite side of you. So far your attempts at mediating are mediocre at best.

 _Oh god where is Kanaya?!_

The food court in the small mall you are in has a small circle around you three, people wanting to watch without interrupting. The two girls are commonly known to fight, but usually Kanaya quickly defuses them. What they really want to see is the new guy trying to handle himself against the most volatile of personalities and how long it takes for him to get slaughtered. So far he’s surprising most people, but he won’t last long.

 _Oh god where in the hell is Kanaya?!?!_

Suddenly the two girls lean back and give you and each other a bit of space. You step back to get a breather. The two girls are eyeing each other as if they were two lionesses fighting over a kill; except even the lionesses would be frightened of these two. The tension is starting to reach its crescendo and you know that the two are about to go at each other again.

 _Kanaya what the hell are you doing?! Why aren’t you over here?!_

You step forwards and raise each hand towards one of girls.  
“Now if you guys ju-“

Suddenly a fist is smashing into the left side of your face and the girl on the right is snarling and reaching past you. You can’t even tell which is which as you tumble to the ground, hit with a startlingly powerful punch.

 _Oh hi ground, you feel really comfortable right now. Do you mind if I-_  
And with that you are out.

***  
==> That wasn’t fair. Go to the other main character.

 _  
What do you mean “wasn’t fair”? I just chose one of the main characters to go to. It’s not my fault he was rendered unconscious shortly after you arrived. What am I, a clairvoyant?   
_

==> Author: Stop being a pretentious dickbag and transition to the other main character.  
 _Fine, geez. No need to be rude about it._

Your name is now Dave Strider and you hate this new town.

Your dad, brother, and you all moved to this crappy town in the middle of nowhere last week. And already you want to either leave or blow this town up. It doesn’t help that your brother… well, half-brother, has already made some interesting friends and having fun. You’re stuck at home, grounded at 16, for blowing up your mailbox the day after you three arrived.

The problem is that the punishment wasn’t the typical ‘stay in your room, no electronics’ bullshit. No, your dad is smart. He punished you by taking away your sunglasses. That’s all he did.

But that’s also all he needed to do.

You won’t be leaving the house any time soon. Nor will you be talking by video chat with people. You have a girlfriend still back in your old neighborhood that you promised to talk to once a day. But with your glasses gone, you won’t even let your girlfriend look at you without them. Maybe that’s a bit shallow, but that’s how you are. And you don’t plan on changing any time soon.

Maybe when your derpy brother John comes home you can convince him to run out and grab some fast food or something for you. Even Chinese food sounds better than his dad’s homemade things. He may be a good baker, but when it comes to meat or vegetables, you would rather eat a PB&J sandwich. Half the time you can’t even tell if he cooked with beef or roadkill. He would probably ruin a microwave dinner.

Speaking of your derpy brother, where is he? Wasn’t he supposed to have called by now? He IS at the mall and he DID promise to see if your favorite store was there. But he hasn’t even called yet to ask for the name. What was he doing, sleeping?

***  
==> Oh hah hah, clever. He’s ‘stuck at home’. Homestuck. So funny.

 _  
I didn’t even notice that. And that’s not a command, smart ass. Use the prompt the right way.   
_

==> Be John again

You would be John, but there isn’t much to do when you’re unconscious. Maybe when he wakes up?

==> Be Kanaya

You finally finish with getting your food from the pizza place that none of your friends seem to like, but everyone else and their dog loves. You had to wait 15 minutes in line just to give your order, then another 10 while they cooked it. You have an uncharacteristic scowl on your face as you finally walk back with your food when you notice the giant circle where you know your friends were at. As you push your way through you see John mediating (or trying to) between Rose and Vriska before getting clocked in the jaw. As he crumples to the ground, Rose and Vriska both freeze, unsure of what to do next. You sigh and set your pizza down, knowing fully well that you need to act fast to make sure the two don’t start getting violent again while John is enjoying his unexpected “nap”.

And you JUST got your pizza…


	2. Heading Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and co. finish up their afternoon and Dave reflects a little more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have 3 chapters fully written and another one half finished, so I think I'll put this one up too.  
> Hey, maybe more people will be interested.
> 
> Also, a side note: I won't be color coding any talking outside of the internet. Chatting online will be included, but it won't be paramount. As such, text color and quirks are not something I'm planning on spending time with.

==> Be Dave Strider

Well technically you are now Dave Egbert, seeing as your biological bro and previous guardian is currently a few hundred miles away. But your new dad and bro are kind of cool, in their own way.

Dad seems to know just what’s needed to get you to do something, and that pisses you off. But you also give him massive amounts of respect. Not as much as you give your bro, but still, he has some of it. And there’s the fact that whenever you have an interest, no matter how weird or annoying it is, he always helps you with it. Like the time you accidentally broke your turntables; he ended up buying you new ones, even though they were fucking expensive.

And when you and John ended up mixing together, you on your tables and him on the keyboard, he didn’t mention it once the next morning, despite the fact that neither of you guys slept and just made noise all night long. However, the next night, he did mention that it was school tomorrow and he “would be very disappointed” if we repeated the night. John seemed a little upset, so we promised not to. From what you’ve seen, you don’t think you’ve EVER seen dad ‘disappointed’ at either you or John, so maybe it’s not smart to do that.

And then there’s John, who is so oblivious and innocent, it’s almost like he’s 5. Which is kind of terrifying, seeing as he can drive. (You could technically drive too, but only in Texas. You haven’t gotten your new license yet, so there isn’t a thing you can do.) When you guys arrived in this shitty new town, John and you both had people flocking around you. But for some reason, he seemed to have attracted more of the ladies than you did. And that’s just downright awful. You should be out there fixing that.

But as much as you want to do that, dad took your sunglasses. He knew that you wouldn’t go outside without them. You would be on your “self-imposed imprisonment” because that sounded cooler than being grounded. It could seem really ironic to be grounded like a 7-year-old, but that would require someone to look past the initial idea of being grounded. So instead you made it sound cooler and skipped irony this time.  
Fuck this town.

***  
==> Be John

You wake up with a splitting headache and three blurs in your vision. You blink a few times to focus and look at Vriska on the left, Rose on the right, and Kanaya in the middle, all three looking upset. You blink a few more times to make sure everything is alright, and then you give off your biggest grin.

Unfortunately that stops seconds into the smile as your jaw starts to hurt. You reach up and cup your jaw, making a barely audible “Ow” as you do so. Rose shoots Vriska a glare that could melt steel, and Vriska returns the favor. You notice Kanaya glance back and forth between the two and sigh before forcing them to sit back down in their chairs. As the girls are distracted, you quickly glance around.

The food that was once on your table is now all about the floor, your order of Chinese food included. _I’ll miss you, Orange Chicken…_

A few tables and chairs we scattered around the room from the little skirmish the two had, shifted at odd angles. And people still kept glancing over at the table where they all sat, wanting to know if there would be a round 2, though not expecting any. Since Kanaya arrived, any situation would quickly defuse and everyone knew that. You also suddenly realize you are sitting in a chair and not lying on the ground. You plan to thank whoever picked you up, but think twice about it. In all likelihood Vriska and Rose would start arguing over who helped and who put more effort into it.

You look back at the three girls and see that Kanaya is still calming the other two down. So instead of staying there and sitting quietly, you decide to go get something to drink.

“I’ll be right back you guys.” You mutter as you stand up, knowing fully well that the other three aren’t even paying attention. You grab your cup and head back to the Chinese place to get a refill and maybe some more chow mein. Just because Vriska and Rose had another of their legendary bouts doesn’t mean you can’t eat, does it?

When you return you have a full cup of soda and a container of chow mein (which you got for free since the cashier felt sympathetic) which you set down on the table to begin munching on. For a few minutes the girls talk and you just eat your food, not even listening. In fact, you sort of just faze out, not even thinking about anything until you hear your name.

“John.”

You blink and sit up, half of your fork-full of noodles hanging out of your mouth, to see all three of the girls looking at you. Rose seems a little smug and Vriska seems a bit irked, both of them with their arms crossed. Kanaya simply looks at you, hands clasped together, looking like a banker or a lawyer or something. You make a slight “mhm” noise with your mouth full.

“John, Vriska would like to say something,” Kanaya continues. “And she is going to say it to just you. Vriska?”

Vriska glares at Rose, then glances at Kanaya, then sighs before turning to you.

“Im sorry for clocking you in the jaw, Egderp, an-”

“Vriska.”

“Egbert. And I will avoid from doing so in the future.”

As she finishes she rolls her eyes and leans back in the chair, looking more relaxed and how she normally is. Rose and Kanaya both sit comfortably in their chairs as well, both being done the situation at hand and want to continue without anything more.

You quickly finish your mouthful of noodles and say “It’s alright.”

Vriska flashes her toothy grin, one that you often expect to see on her, and she reaches a hand back to flip her hair behind her.

“See? I told you he wouldn’t have any hard feelings. John is too nice to be upset.”

“Be that as it may, Vriska, it’s still proper to apologize after hitting someone.” Kanaya admonished while she grabbed her pizza from her plate.

“Which you shouldn’t have to do, mind you.” Rose added in, sending a short glare at Vriska before looking at John. “I’m sorry you had to get in the middle of that. It was kind and thoughtful of you to try and stop that spat of ours before it got out of hand.”

“He’s just a knight, isn’t he? Trying to save the fair maidens from each other. So noble!”

Vriska’s sarcasm always seemed to cause you to chuckle, and this time was no exception. So with a mouthful of chow mein you snort out a laugh, then start to choke. You turn a little red as Vriska laughs and Rose snickers at your dispense. Kanaya simply makes her light smile before taking a bite of her pizza. When the choking and laughing fit finishes, you speak up to be heard for the first time.

“So after we finish eating, what are we gonna do next?”

“Well…” Rose starts. “Mother wants me home before four, and seeing as it takes half an hour just to get home, I think I’ll head to my car and start driving.”

“I was planning on a similar course myself. I assume that most of us want to head home, especially since tomorrow is Monday.”

Vriska frowns as Kanaya mentions the word ‘Monday’. “Well damn, I forgot completely about the date. I guess that means I’m heading home too. What about you John?”

You shrug and smile, your jaw no longer hurting. “I guess I’m going home too. No point for me to stay here without anyone else around, is there?”

So you and Kanaya finish your respective meals and then head to the parking lot. Not much is said except for a bit of small talk, most of your material for conversation used up for the day. Kanaya shortly leaves the group and goes to her car somewhere else in the parking lot, being the only one to live on a different side of town and as such parking on a different side.

Rose gets to her car next, being closer than yours or Vriska’s. She starts up her Mercedes and pulls out, stopping by you two and giving her goodbyes before cruising out of the parking lot. You always are a little in awe when you see her nice car, especially when its compared against yours.

When you reach the outskirts of the lot you notice that Vriska parked her Escalade right next to your crappy pickup truck. Her truck was painted a deep blue and was in a pristine condition. Your truck was the grey of a car without paint and had a few dents here and there. But both of you were proud of your respective vehicles. You had spent two summers earning the money to buy the truck mostly by yourself. Dad had to chip in a little so you could have leftover money for gas, but he didn’t care. Dad was simply proud of him for earning the truck like a man, and that was all you cared about. You weren’t sure how Vriska got her truck, but she seemed just as proud of it as you did.

As you both got to your rides, you reached over and gave her a quick hug, fully expecting her to react the same way she always did. She got a strange look on her face as if she was getting attacked by a baby and didn’t want to hurt it to get it off. She gave a one armed hug back and held the other out in an awkward position as if her arm was hanging by a string. And then, when you didn’t let go right away, she started to blush, red creeping up into her cheeks, before she shoved you off. You laugh and wave goodbye, hopping into your truck and turning the engine a few times before starting it, then drive off. Vriska waves back, though a little sluggishly, and you’re already off.

***  
==> Be Rose

You are Rose Lalonde and you are sitting at a red light. You need to be home on time or else Mother will have another fit, and the last time that happened you ended up having to go to bed without dinner simply because Mother’s headache was “too much to handle”, despite the fact that her punishment was more befitting when she was ten. But you didn’t tell her that, not wanting her to regress even further and telling you to sit in the corner for a ‘time out’. So now you sit impatiently at the light, scanning your vision around before spotting John embracing Vriska in your mirror.

Again it crosses your mind whether or not you should tell John that in all the years you’ve known Vriska (And it’s been quite a few years) that she has never let a person hug her. But as you churn it about in your mind, you notice the light change green and you put your foot on the accelerator, not planning on being late again. You simply forget all about John and Vriska, and instead think about this car that is driving ten miles per hour under the speed limit. If only you could push them.


	3. Pickles

==> Be John

 _  
You would be, but he’s driving. Maybe later?   
_

==> Author: Stop making excuses and indulging in the breaking of the fourth wall. It’s stupid.

 _  
A rousing fuck you too. If you don’t like my shenanigans then I will not share them with you.   
_

==> Author: Don’t be mad. I’m sorry. Please continue like normal?

 _  
… Fine. But only because you said please.   
_

==> Be Dave

You just finished with your turntables and you are so hungry it’s amazing. You could probably eat an entire cow or something you are so hungry. You are so unchill that you could light a carpet on fire just by standing still that you are so hungry.

 _…wow that metaphor sucked. What are these hunger pains even doing to you?_

You sigh and flop down onto the couch in front of the TV. You begin flipping channels while your stomach growls like a starving lion. Hopefully John will get home soon because if he doesn’t the likelihood of you eating something random from the fridge is… still zero. The thought of eating anything from that fridge makes you cringe. But sometimes you need to consider your options.You check you phone to see if John left you a text or something.

 _Nada._

You wonder if he’s derpy like this on purpose sometimes. There is no way someone can be this much of a derp and be able to function like he does. You told him at least five times to make sure he texts you before he heads home. And by now he’ll be here any second. Can he even function the way he acts? You swear to some deity, whoever is most ironic, that you wi-

And with that you hear the garage. Bets that he got the food like you asked? The odds are 100 to -50. And the race is about to start! Quickly, quickly! Take your bets! See how much money you waste on poin-  
Is that a cheeseburger you smell? Holy shit, he delivered the goods.

***  
==> Be John Egbert

You just got home with probably the greasiest cheeseburger in the entire town. The bag has a small puddle on the bottom. The only reason you don’t care about the leak is that the passenger seat is covered in a layer of paper towels. You pick up the bag and hold it at arm’s length as you walk into the house. You almost smack Dave in the face with it, not expecting him to be there.

“Oh, wow. Hey Dave.”

“Sup.”

You blink once. Twice. Dave hasn’t moved an inch, but without his glasses you can see Dave’s eyes focused straight on the bag in your hand. You smirk and start moving the bag back and forth. His eyes trail the thing, like a dog waiting for a treat. But the only thing that moves is his eyes and the steady rhythm of his chest as he breathes. His hands rest half in his pockets. His slouch is perfect, refined over the years. He is in a trance of hunger.

Suddenly he snaps out of it and glares at you. Your smile turns into a grin as he snatches the bag from your hand and stalks back to the couch. He grumbles (Something he never does) about being as ravenous as a dead horse. Before you can even ask if that was thought out before he tried to make the metaphor, he’s already shoving the dripping burger into his mouth. Of course, he stays pristine, not a single drop marring his face as he eats the burger that would probably give a normal person a heart attack. But you remember the one time he explained to you why he could eat so much.

 _

“Im goddam Michael Phelps. I eat restaurants for breakfast. I could feed a small country with all the food I’ve eaten. They made an order on a menu in Texas called ‘The Strider’. It was everything on the menu twice and with extra fries. And I could eat it all in one sitting.”

_

Thinking about it, what he said never explained HOW he could eat so much. Just that he did. But then again, that’s how your brother worked. Man, he is soooo cooool!

***  
==> Dave: Enjoy that Burger

You are enjoying this grease so much. This is as much as your favorite place back home in Texas. It would literally drip from the buns because they were so soaked. There is no way this burger could get any better.  
Suddenly you bite a pickle.

==> Dave: Flip the fuck out

You are Dave Egbert-Strider. You do not flip the fuck out.  
Unless you eat a pickle.

***  
==> John: Abscond

 _You forgot the pickles oh god oh god you forgot the pickles why did you keep the pickles in there?_

You are running to your room as fast as you can. Dave is still sitting statue still, but the moment he froze you realized it was the pickles you left in there. And now he’ll be pissed. The last time you left pickles in Dad found you duct taped to the ceiling and wearing a bucket on your head. You didn’t remember a thing.  
And now he found pickles.

***  
==> Dad: Get home

It’s an hour later and you just returned from your job. It was an average day and you plan to relax in an average fashion when you go inside.

You are greeted by the familiar sight of Dave flipping channels on the couch. Without his glasses he wouldn’t leave home and you both know that. You check the shirt pocket you kept the container’s key in and find it still there. That’s a relief.

You walk over and look at the TV. He hasn’t settled on a channel yet and probably won’t unless it’s incredibly ridiculous. Or ‘ironic’ as he calls it. Just as you start to turn around he settles on a show about orangutans. You stare for a moment. Finally you gather yourself and ask him a question.

“You know you ar-“

“Yep.”

Well… That answered that.

Normally John would be watching with him. You certainly saw his truck in the garage. So where was he? You decide to ask Dave.

“Where is John at?”

He turns his head to look at you slowly. His red pupils gaze into yours and you stare for a moment. The only noise comes from the TV. Then he turns back to the thing and shrugs nonchalantly while saying “He brought me pickles.”

You sit confused for a moment. Then you remember the last time John brought Dave some pickles on his burger. There were duct tape stains on the ceiling for a few days and that bucket was rendered unusable. You immediately look up.

==> Be John

You are suspended from the ceiling with tons and tons of string. You don’t even know where this string came from. But you are enclosed in it, a small cocoon of string. Maybe you’ll emerge as a yarn butterfly. Or as a stupid idiot who forgets about the pickles. Only time may te-

And suddenly you are falling and your life flashes before your eyes.

Oh wait, no it doesn’t. Dad caught you.

You smile one of the biggest grins you can make and begin to say hello when he stops you.

“Son.”

“Yes dad?”

“… Stop forgetting about the pickles.”

And with that he’s off to his office.

You stare for a few moments, in awe of your Dad’s ability to raise you and Dave. Nothing could make you more amazed tha-  
 _Is Dave watching a show about Orangutans? Ohmygod!_

You hop over the couch and join Dave in watching the monkey show.  
 _Man, this is awesome._


	4. The Drive There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John catches a ride with Vriska and Dave eats a pickle-less burger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Oh wow, look at this asshole! Takes almost a week to post about 2/3 of a chapter!"
> 
> Yeah yeah, sorry those 12 or 13 people who read this. Was sorta busy this week, but I plan to speed up the pace. Once a week for these short blurbs is a silly pace. just give me some time and Ill stop being a disappointment.

==> John: Go to school.

You are already at school. And you are currently waiting for the clock to hit 11.

English is probably the most boring class for you. You have only one friend in it, and they sit on the opposite side of the room from you. The teacher drones on and on in a horrible monotone voice. And most of the stuff they talk about they just repeat from the book, which they make you read for homework anyways. But you’ve got an hour and a half of lunch coming up. All you got to do is wait for it…

BRRRRING

With the bell you leap from your seat and dash for the door. Only one thought runs through your head, over and over again. It is your primary focus, your primary target, your primary drive.

 _Its lunch time! Gotta get to my truck!_

You and your friends meet up at a fast food place every lunch for the hour and a half you guys get. However, it’s not an original idea, so the parking lot becomes a mess in just a few minutes. You learned that the hard way. So now you are bolting for your truck, hoping not to get hit by anyone who got out earlier. And so far you are doing well. You bound across the lanes and through the rows of cars around you, going for your truck. A few cars pull out of their spots, but not enough to block your way.

Right as you get to your lane, a familiar black Escalade pulls up. The driver window rolls down and Vriska looks out at you, her sunglasses on her face. She’s smiling her ‘Vriska Smile’ and looks over her glasses at you.

“You want a ride Egderp? Save some gas.”

You think a moment, then shrug and run around to the passenger side. You have all you need on you or in your backpack, so you don’t need to stop by your truck for anything. You pull on your seatbelt and brace yourself, fully ready for how Vriska drives.

Suddenly the tires are squealing beneath you. The vehicle launches forwards and you are pushed back into your seat. And through it all Vriska is grinning like a madman. Normally it’s infectious, but no matter how often you ride with her the idea of peeling off down the street 20 miles per hour faster than legal never ceases to make you frightened. You admit that you get there faster, but is it really worth it?

Whatever the repercussions are, you aren’t thinking of them now. You are clinging to the handle above the door in a futile attempt to be safe in the case that Vriska hits something. At these speeds you guys would spin horribly into some sort of crash. She probably doesn’t think anything of it, but you can’t think of anything else. You speed past other cars as if they are moving at a snail’s pace. Cars honk all around you, but Vriska just laughs them off.  
About five minutes from the school she slows down to a more reasonable speed, one that won’t get you arrested on sight. You sigh and relax in the leather seats, squeaking as you slide a bit. Vriska laughs at your discomfort and reaches a slender finger over to the radio. She turns it on and the speakers start blaring around you. The heavy bass of some sort of techno song shakes the car as you drive down the road. Vriska’s signature grin is plastered to her face as she rolls down all the windows. The sound of the electronic bass reverberates from the car and echoes down the street.  
With another 10 minutes to go, you turn around and look at Vriska at a red light, meaning to start a conversation. As you turn, she quickly whips her head around and looks off outside her side window. You make a weird face, a bit confused before speaking up.

“So how is your day going?”

She turns with a half-caring smile on her face. As she glances at you the corner of her mouth twitches slightly, almost indiscernible if you didn’t live with Dave all the time anyways. By now most people are open books with their reactions and twitches. However, you don’t put much into reading them. That’s Rose’s thing.

“Oh, you know. Regular and all.”

“Oh cool.”

You blink a few times, waiting to see if she’ll offer any more. As usual, however, she doesn’t. She’s kind of tight lipped about most things. So with that in mind, you decide to change the subject.

“So, what are we listening to?”

And with that comment she quickly straightens up and her smile breaks into a grin. She turns the music up a bit and starts going on about this new artist she found on the internet and how his music is really similar to some other artist’s. It all mostly goes over your head, but you try to understand.

Then again, the constants “wubs” are starting to give you a headache.

***  
==> Be Dave Strid-Bert

What the hell kind of name is that? If that was your real name you would probably have killed someone. Thankfully it’s not.

Right now you’re sitting in this fast food joint, eating a semi-delicious burger. You’re sitting in a booth across from this girl Terezi you met last week. She’s blind as a bat, but has these amazing sunglasses, just like you. However, she has this strangely frightening yet arousing laugh. You wonder if you plan on doing anything with her. But right now you’re too busy with this burger in your hands. You’ll think later.

Just as you finish the burger, Vriska and John walk in, Vriska chatting away about one of her artists. John seems sort of lost, like always.

If Vriska wasn’t so insufferable you would talk music with her. You’re sure that you could find something new and interesting in what she listens to. Or at least you think you would. While you hate talking to her you like to think she has good tastes in music.

You’re a good halfway done with your second burger when Vriska and John make their way to our booth. Vriska seemed to have just finished her talk about music and John seemed a little disoriented. He glances at your table and then over to the bigger booth.

“Why aren’t you guys sitting at the bigger booth?”

You finish chewing and shrug.

“It wasn’t open earlier. Go sit there and we’ll be right over.”

Before he can respond to you, you’re already taking another bite.

John looks at you in a strange fashion before shrugging and following Vriska to the booth. You don’t even watch them. Instead you look back at Terezi, who seems to be smiling in a half-mocking fashion.

“Wow, Dave. Such a “Coolkid.” Maybe you should warm up already.”

You snort and bite your burger viciously.


	5. A Bit Distracted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave is a bit distracted, Vriska is a bit distracted. basically its Monday.

==> Be Dave

You are currently Dave, and also you need a new burger.

You just finished one, so you get up to go grab another. While you stand in line trying to decide if you want the half pounder or simply another quarter pounder, Terezi slinks over to the large table with Jon and Vriska to start chatting them up.

By the time you return with the burger, the booth has gained a few more people.

A girl named Aradia sits next to Terezi, a friend of hers that you didn’t get much of an introduction to the first time you met, which you blame on the rigid system of time the school keeps you bound to. Across from her sitting next to your broderp is someone you have yet to meet but have seen a few times. His weird, random blue and red patterns almost seem like her just puts on whatever makes it seem the tackiest, but whatever. Everyone has their own style. You just wish he would be sleeker with the design and execution.

You sit drag a chair over and set it at the edge, not even considering trying to squeeze in like a sardine packed close with burger grease. Terezi smiles her weird grin at you, almost like she plans on hunting you like a shark, circling closer and closer as you slowly bleed from a scraped ankle. The blood makes her ravenous as she begins to move i-

“Dave! Are you paying attention?”

Dammit, you hate it when people end up interrupting your metaphors.

“Yeah, I’m here. I’m just pondering the mysteries of this grilled slice of Nirvana.” You toss the comment out, trying to figure out who was talking.  
John waves his hand at you and tries to make you look at him, this time successful.

“I said,” he starts, “Have you met Sollux yet? He mentioned that you’re in a lot of his classes, but you don’t normally have much contact with him.”

“That’s becauthe he’s normally athleep.”

You turn to look at the Blue and Red man apparently named Sollux. Obviously he has a lisp, but it seems it’s mostly on his sharp S’s. At least it’s a bit bearable, but still irritating.

“It’s not my fault that English class falls in line with my Beauty Sleep schedule. Besides, it’s not like we’re learning brain science or rocket surgery. It’s only reading and shit.”

Sollux’s face twists into a weird expression, obviously not understanding the metaphor you used. In retrospect though, it was a pretty lame one. The only reason why you heard it before was when John mixed up the expression after hearing Dad say it correctly. Now you just toss it out to try and mess with your bro. Which you succeed in doing.  
John rolls his eyes at you from his seat and says to Sollux “Don’t worry about the weird metaphor thing. It’s what Dave does. I’m pretty sure that if he could, he would speak in just metaphors all day.”

“Except then I couldn’t order my delicious burgers. The people behind the counter would simply cease to function, their brains melted from raw exposure to such high levels of metaphor. I would never be able to enjoy another grease covered, pressed cow meat sandwich.”

Sollux’s face keeps that confused look until you just shrug and start tearing into your new burger, which you were a bit upset about putting off. The warm juices of the burger fill you with a joy that is only achieved by few things in life, such as sitting at your tables or g-

“Dave, are you alright?”

Shit, that’s the second time now. You gotta get back on your groove, Strider. Gah, “Egbert”. Wow, you really are off today. Why the fuck is that anyways?  
Most of the table is staring at you as you chew through your food; the only two not looking are Terezi and Vriska, who seem to be arguing about a pirate movie that you didn’t even think existed. And you can find some pretty obscure stuff.

You swallow the mouthful and say, once again, “Yeah, Im here. Jesus, do you need me to update you constantly? Should I make an app that will alert you of my state of being every moment you need to know?”

John rolls his eyes again and gives you a slightly exasperated smile. He’s been used to you for too long for your usual quips to affect him.

“That’s not it, Dave. It’s just that Aradia asked if you were ready for your math test after lunch. She said she would be happy to study with you.”

Shit. That’s what you forgot about and that’s what’s been bothering you. Play it cool, Dave.

“I’m totally ready for the test. However, a bit of studying would probably help so I don’t forget important things.”

Sollux rolls his eyes and remarks “Meaning he’s completely unprepared and is thcared shitleth.”

You glare at Sollux with as much hate as you can, annoyed that he saw through your façade, however flimsy it was. Mr. Red and Blue squirms a bit before you decide to stop having him suffer. You turn back to Aradia and nod. “I would actually like to study. But if we want to grab a separate table, we should probably move fast. People are starting to file in.”  
True to your words, large crowds of people are starting to walk in in pairs or small clumps. And that’s all behind you. Stay Strider Smooth, Dave, even if you ARE an Egbert now.  
Aradia glances around and then grabs her stuff before heading over to a table off to the side, a bit away from the traffic of the new arrivals. You pick up your bag before following after her. Sollux seems to want to join in too, even with his smug attitude. Whatever. You have a test to not fail.

***

==> Be John

You are now John who is awkwardly sitting at a table that is focusing about pirates. If you didn’t know better, you would think that Terezi and Vriska were talking about some pirate porno they found somewhere. Then again, the only reason you don’t think that’s what they’re talking about is because they’re in public. You accidentally walked in on them talking about the subject once and you can no longer look at an anchor the same as a result. You have weird friends.

Just then Kanaya and Rose arrive at the table, Kanaya taking the seat next to Terezi and Rose sliding in next to her. So you and Vriska sat on one side and the other three on the other. If you were more competitive you would compare it to a game and opposite teams. But you don’t really do that, that’s for Vriska to do.  
You glance to your left and notice Vriska glaring at Rose while Rose returns the favor. You gently nudge Vriska in the side and say “Hey Vris, you alright?” It seems a lot of your friends are a bit distracted today.

She makes a forced smile and a half-assed response. “Yeah, I’m perfect.”

You frown a bit but don’t push much. You know that she seems a bit fragile on Mondays. It has to do with the weekend or something, but she seems a bit off every time the week starts. You always mean to ask her about it, but you always forget. One day you’ll remember. Ah well.

Lunch moves on a bit uneventfully, small talk about classes and the weekend being exchanged. Seeing as its Monday there isn’t much to talk about yet, so there are no plans for the weekend being set up or things of importance being planned. In fact it seems as if everyone is a bit tired, as is the average for the beginning of the week. Even you feel a bit drowsy. At least you don’t have a test today. You would probably do poorly on it if you had to take one.

As the lunch period draws closer to an end it seems that people leave in a mass exodus, tables being cleared of people in a matter of seconds. Only a few groups are left, including your booth and a random spattering of people. You should probably be heading out yourself. You turn to your ride home to get ready to poke and prod her into action.

“Vris?”

“Yeah Derp?”

“You ready to head back?”

She glances about the room and stretches back like a cat getting up from a nap.

“I dunno. I don’t have a class till a bit later, so I’m in no rush. You might be a bit screwed.”

You poke her stomach as she leans back, making her whip forwards and swinging at your hand. You can’t help but giggle at the face she gives you.

“You trying to push my buttons? If you keep it up I may not even let you in my car.”

You stick out your tongue and stand up, grabbing you bag as you do so. “Come on, you know that I’m gonna be late if we stay here much longer.”

She rolls her eyes but concedes and stands up. She pulls out her keys, flourishing them to make a jingling noise. “Alright, let’s go Derp. Don’t want you to miss your oh-so important class.”

As you two make it to the door, Rose calls out.

“Vriska dear, please try not to kill the poor boy. It would truly be a sad day to see such an innocent person have their life ended because he put his trust in someone like you.”

Vriska’s frown could almost make a small child tremble in fear. She stalked out of the restaurant, slamming the door behind her. You glance at Rose and make a face to say “Why?” before rushing out to get your ride.

***

==> Be Terezi

You sit there as Kanaya berates Rose for her comment that put Vriska in “a most fowl mood.”

But that’s not what you care about right now.

All you are concerned about is the man that is named Dave.

And how to get him to take of his shades so you can see his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, its me being late by weeks. I'm terribly sorry my loyal reader. I've just been a bit bogged down with a few things in life. Let me make another promise of trying to get things sorted out. I'll promise, I'm serious!
> 
> On a side note, do you know how hard it is to try and remember a lisp you had when you were younger that was coached out of you? Its fucking tough lemme tell you. But I used that so Sollux wasn't just a solid chunk of th's everywhere.


	6. $500 worth of Melons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John gets to class, Dave takes a test, and John waits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thats right, im not dead! I just have a really odd update pattern!  
> Go me!  
> 

==> Be John

You are John right now, and you really wish you were someone else. Dave is probably chilling out in some random spot in math, completely safe and not frightened to death, getting ready for his test. In retrospect, dying of a heart attack out of pure fear would probably be more welcome than this. Instead you sit in the vehicle that speeds down the road, barely avoiding the other drivers. Vriska is speeding down the road at speeds you don’t even think people reach once in their life. And she treats it like it’s barely enough.

 _Why can’t I have more relaxed and regular friends?_

Vriska isn’t looking anywhere but the road, her face set in stone. Her mouth formed a grimace, one that was common after an argument with Rose, but with an odd twitch to it, like there was something more. It was closer to the look she gave when you ask her about her weekend or her mom. And it was definitely not one you liked seeing. Every time you saw the look it simultaneously frightened and upset you. You would ask her to talk about it if you weren’t scared silent.

 _Why can’t I have normal friends?_

In a quick minute Vriska squeals into the parking lot of the school, tires leaving skid marks on the road behind her. She makes a sudden stop right in front of one of the gates into the school. Some people are still milling about meandering over to class, while some people run in from the parking lot, rushing to avoid being late.

Vriska simply stares straight ahead, silently brooding. You know not to interrupt her, but you still want her to know that you’re there for her. You grab your bag and start to get out, but before you head off you look at Vriska and get her attention.

“What?” she replies gruffly. She sounds like she’s upset, but you can’t help her right now.

“When do you have free time?” you ask, hoping she’ll accept the invitation.

“… At about two thirty. Why?” She stares at you like you were trying to get her to solve theoretical science equations.

“Alright. I’ll see you then!” You then slam the door shut and bolt to class. Hopefully you can talk to her then. Right now you have a history class that’s going to make you wish you could fall asleep in there.

***

==> Be Dave

 _

I dunno, he’s taking a test right now. Do you really want to bug him?

_   

  


==> Be the Test-taking Dave Egbert-Strider

You are currently Dave, and this test is surprisingly easy. Seriously, you expected something closer to a stress-filled, rage inducing shitstorm that would blot out the sky and leave the entire northwest without power for weeks. Instead you have multiple choice questions that are easier to solve with common sense. You breeze through the test, solving equations left and right, when suddenly you hit the problem.

This isn’t the one you think is the hardest. Nor do you think it’s the longest. It the one you have an issue with cause it makes no goddam sense!

What the fuck does “Linda” need 50 fucking melons for? Is she going to assemble a melon-man army? Does she have a doomsday plot focused around needing a shit-fucking huge amount of these ridiculous melons that she is apparently paying $500 for? Are culturally sensitive “Juan” and “Lee” going to help her carry these shitty melons home too? Seriously man, what the fuck?

You sigh as you finish your tirade and answer the piece of shit question for what it’s worth. The fact that test makers always need to make some bullshit word problem just to “test you” never made any sense. Can’t they just make it simple so you can solve the equation and move on? No. They have to do it the Way of the Idiot. They are the masters of being the fools and still getting paid. Sometimes you wonder if these writers end up feeling hollow and empty each day after work, cause you know you would. That’s the only satisfaction you can take out of word problems like this.

A few minutes later you join the initial group of people to turn in their tests. You glance about the room, your shades making it dim, to see how everyone else is doing. Aradia seems to have just finished herself and is standing back a few paces as she turns her test in. “Thollux” is sitting in his seat, his desk clear of papers. It seems he finished his test before most anyone else. What a pretentious di-

“Hey Dave, how do you feel about your test?” Aradia whispers to you, stopping your train of thought. Today is a bad day to think for you. Maybe you should quit while you’re behind.  
You shrug and whisper back “It was too easy. I’m not sure why we studied all lunch for this.”

She smiles and nods, making a barely audible laughing. “I know right? We could have glanced at the review paper and had no issues.”

After the few comments you split, each of you heading to your own desks to sit silently while you wait for the few students who either work thoroughly or really shouldn’t be in this class to begin with. It’s not too long of a wait before the final test is set on the desk in the front. Your teacher scans the classroom to guarantee that’s it before picking up all the papers and setting them on his desk. Everyone stares up at him, waiting for what he’s going to say next. However, none of you expect him to pull out another stack of papers and start passing them out, telling everyone there is also a surprise quiz.

The resulting groan would put a starving orphan to shame.

***

==> Be John

You finished your boring history class not having learned a single thing from your teacher. Instead you’ll go home and finish the simple busywork he assigns as homework and then focus on things that require more than having half a brain. But then you think a moment and realize you have an hour before Vriska gets out of class. Normally you go home after this, but since you have time to stall you might as well get some homework done.

You head to a random table on the campus to start working, your papers in front of you as you make your way through them. It takes you almost no effort to do them, as predicted, and it’s almost insulting.

When you finish your chore you have a half an hour left to wait, so you lie down your head to nap. Surely it will only be for a few minutes.

 

You wake up to someone poking you in the back.

Your first instinct is to swipe behind you lazily. When that fails to stop it, you sit up and yawn before turning to look at your assailant.

“Oh. Hi Vriska.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Ao3 is being uncooperative at the time of posting, so please realize some things that SHOULD be HTML'd aren't.  
> Mostly fix'd now.

**Author's Note:**

> I do have a bit of Fourth Wall breaking as you saw, but its mostly between the narrator and the "reader". I hope it doesn't seem tacky, but I use it to move certain things along.  
> If you have any comments, questions, or hatemail you can go ahead and send it to me.


End file.
